I’m popping back at the end of my hiatus just in time to take part in #LoveYourBacklog Month 2021! I took part in #LoveYourBacklog two years ago in 2019 and I will admit that in those two years I have done absolutely bugger all to remove anything from my gaming backlog. A few people know why as I’ve slowly been opening up about it, and I was going to dedicate a blog post to it one day. However, ‘one day’ keeps getting further and further away and the subject is completely in keeping with why Kim of Later Levels and Solarayo from Ace Asunder host #Loveyourbacklog.
Join me as I hastily get my entry in before the month ends and explain why #MaybeInMarch couldn’t have come at a better time for me!
What is #LoveYourBacklog Week?
I’m going to copy the description that Kim wrote in her introduction post for this year because to me it sums it up perfectly:
Backlog: a word which sends a shiver down most gamers’ spines. That sense of unease experienced when looking at our pile of unplayed titles is a feeling we’re all familiar with – yet we just can’t stop adding entries to our library of games.
Does it really need to be this way though? What if our libraries were something to be celebrated rather than a source of shame? A mountain of games surely isn’t a cause for guilt, but a sign of how much you enjoy your hobby and having something suitable available for every gaming mood.Kim of Later Levels
Struggling with game anxiety
It feels silly to sit here and say I have anxiety about playing video games especially with everything else going on in the world. But it is what it is. For a few years now I’ve been struggling to step outside my comfort zone with games and only sticking to games that I feel “safe” playing solo, or games I play with my fiance, Chris. No matter how many new games I get to try and tempt myself away from my safety zone, they just end up in my backlog.
What is this anxiety exactly? That I can’t play them. That I’ll struggle, and fail. That I’m not good enough.
I know the nasty place this anxiety comes from and working through this is part of a long journey I’ve been working on for over a year. Not just to continue healing, but so I can enjoy the awesome games on my backlog.
Kim and Solarayo are hosting #MaybeInMarch next month which asks #LoveYourBacklog participants to tackle their backlog, particularly the game that’s been there the longest, in March. The timing is perfect for me because I’m just coming back from my hiatus and was planning to try to play more games, and I also started easing my way back into things by trying some demos from the Steam Gaming festival at the start of this month (lookout for a post coming next month!). I might not necessarily play the game that’s been there the longest, but I’m definitely going to try to play something/s in my backlog!
My backlog has over 500+ titles in it and you can view some of it over at Grouvee. I’m also on Backloggery but I don’t update that as often – the only reason Grouvee is actually updated is that it auto-updates from Steam 😉 I recently installed GOG Galaxy so all my games from various accounts/places online are in one place at last. I also have access to my fiance’s steam account, however, as you can see I’ve collected quite a lot on my own. I don’t think I need to go adding any more to that list right now, hmm?
The total of 500+ games does include games that I will probably never play or will try once and dislike. I’m a bit of a border when it comes to games, you see. Any change of a free game and I’ll snap it up! The reason for this is that I’m ‘a late to the game’ gamer; I only started playing games in my early twenties. I missed out on so many games because of my late start and then because I was learning how to play games or struggling with my own confidence. I’ve decided not to go through the list and Marie Konto it because I want to at least try some of the games before I relegate them to the ‘NOPE’ pile. So yeah, 500+ is a lot. But it also means that I won’t have the issue of not having something to play which I used to have when I first started gaming!
Now I’ve introduced you to my backlog it’s time for me to answer the questions Kim and Solarayo created for #LoveYourBacklog week 2021!
The effect that the 2020 apocalypse had on your backlog
Not really much of one if I’m honest. Before everything happened in 2020 I spent most of my time at home due to my disabilities anyway and I worked from home too. I didn’t escape the huge amounts of anxiety and stress but other than going out even less than usual, my everyday routine didn’t change much at all.
I guess the one effect I’ve noticed is a positive one; a zest for life again which right now is being focused through my desire to play games again. I’m still self-isolating and video games have always offered me the chance to move past my physical limitations (which is why my anxiety has been so frustrating). I’ve been hoarding games for a rainy day and that rainy day is here.
The oldest game in terms of release date
Star Wars: Dark Forces is the oldest game in my backlog with a release date of June 1st 1995.
A game you bought on day one, only to not play it
I never buy games on day one because of how expensive they are, with the only exception being the latest World of Warcraft expansions which I’m guaranteed to play.
The game which has spent the most time on your backlog
The longest game on my backlog is Spellforce which I originally had on CD. Yep, that’s how old this game is. I still have the CD, unfortunately, the game became unplayable or corrupted or something because it was so old. It basically couldn’t run on modern Windows any more. So when a bundle came out in a Steam sale for Spellforce and Spellforce II I snapped them up… and never went back to it.
The most recent addition to your library
Starcraft and Starcraft II are the most recent additions to my library. I primarily bought them in a Blizzard sale to get the World of Warcraft battle pets for my collection, however, I do intend to actually play the games at some point. Chris wants to play Starcraft II with me as a two-player mode was added a while back.
The person responsible for adding the most entries to your backlog, due to their good recommendations
Can I blame Steam sales and Humble Bundles? 😛 Since I can’t do that, then it’s Chris. Most of the time my game recs come from Chris because we pick games we can play together.
Over to you
Thanks for reading all about my video game backlog and my answers for #LoveYourBacklog Month 2021. If you’re interested in keeping an eye on my progress for #MaybeinMarch or with working my way through my gaming anxiety in general then give me a follow on Twitter 🙂
You’re also welcome to visit me on Steam (my id is jadedlioness ) or on GOG (my id is justgeekingby ) 🙂
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