I Will Die On This Hill by Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards
Published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Age Group: Adult
Format: Non-Fiction
Genres and Categories: Disabled and Neurodivergent Authors, Indigenous Authors, Disabled and Neurodivergent Information, Diversity, Eugenics, Neurodivergent
My Rating:
Published on: 19th January 2023
Pages: 256
Disability Representation: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Neurodivergent
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There is a significant divide between autistic advocates and parents of autistic children. Parents may feel attacked for their lack of understanding, and autistic adults who offer insight and guidance are also met with hostility and rejection.

Meghan Ashburn, a mother of two autistic boys, and Jules Edwards, an autistic parent, were no strangers to this tension and had an adversarial relationship when they first met. Over time, the two resolved their differences and are now co-conspirators in the pursuit of disability justice.

This book unites both perspectives, exploring the rift between these communities and encouraging them to work towards a common goal. It provides context to dividing issues, and the authors use their experience to illustrate where they've messed up, where they've got things right, and what they've learned along the way.

This book was provided for free by NetGalley and the publishers in exchange for an honest review. Many thanks to the publisher and the author for the opportunity to read this book!

Content Warnings:

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When I came across I Will Die On This Hill by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards on NetGalley, I was excited to not only find a book about autism, but one that was written by people who had actual lived experience. As I started reading I Will Die On This Hill, I realised just how important this book is; it’s the first collaboration between an autistic parent of autistic children and a parent of autistic children. I talk more about the significance of this in my review below.

I Will Die On This Hill by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards is not a book just for parents. That probably seems like an odd statement considering its subtitle is “Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World”. It is definitely aimed at the two groups mentioned there; autistic adults and autism parents, and the two authors offer their very candid perspectives from each side of that “hill”. For me, as someone who has multiple friends and associates who are neurodivergent, this has been the first book that I’ve read on the subject that was properly informative about the autistic community.

The aim of I Will Die On This Hill is to bridge the communication gap between autistic adults and autism parents. As Meghan explains, getting a diagnosis of autism for her children was difficult and met with a lot of stigma. When she finally did get a diagnosis, the only information that she received from medical professionals was to correct her child’s behaviour. That seemed odd to Meghan as someone who advocated for developmentally appropriate practices for children, and so she started to look for more information about autism online. She goes into detail about her journey and how she found a community of other autism parents, but it was only when Jules started commenting on her blog that she became aware of autistic adults. 

As Jules and Meghan discuss throughout I Will Die On This Hill, there is a large community of autistic adults, many of whom want to help allistic (non-autistic) parents of autistic children understand autism better. Autistic adults were once autistic children; they’ve been there and want to help the next generation. The problem is that parents also want to help their children, and it can be difficult for them to hear someone else talking like an expert about their children. There are other difficulties and conflicts which Jules and Meghan discuss, along with guests who have contributed short essays that have been placed between chapters.

The level of detail that these two authors have gone into is absolutely amazing, and as they are writing from the position of a parent who knows nothing at all about autism, they have built the knowledge in this book from the ground up. It’s a great introduction to autism and the autistic community from two very different and very important perspectives, and it has a fantastic amount of resources spread throughout for further reading. Between the two of them, Jules and Meghan have covered so much. This includes racism as Jules is Indigenous and Meghan has Black and Brown children, and the afterword is written by a queer person, Jillian Nelson.

I appreciated how diverse the information was, as before reading I Will Die On This Hill, I was completely unaware that “autism awareness” was linked to organisations that have harmful agendas and believe that autism needs to be cured. Instead, it is important to make the distinction to say “autism acceptance” as that is what the autism community strives for: to be accepted for who they are.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more about autism and the autism community, especially if you are a parent or someone who has children in your life. Whether you are a parent or relative of autistic children, if you are around children, you will meet autistic children, and it’s important that you know more about autism, so you can talk to your children about autism too. Be part of autism acceptance, not stigma!

Thanks for reading my review for I Will Die On This Hill by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards! This review was part of the GeekDis event, which you can follow on social media using the #GeekDis. You can also view all this year’s content at the GeekDis 2023 content hub!

Don’t forget to check out the rest of my reviews if you’re looking for some more book recommendations 🙂 You can also now sign up for my newsletter to get an email each month with a list of my new reviews!

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