As mentioned in my previous entry, my hypermobility was one of the major health-related problems that caused me so many problems in Term 2. In the past week, I’ve been to see my doctor about it, had a physio assessment and had an asthma review by the nurse. All of these were steps in the direction of getting myself healthier in terms of pain, weight and mobility. My doctor examined my knees and straight away saw the problem; my left knee is very hyperextended. To quote a dictionary this means; “extend a joint beyond its normal range”. That is basically what my entire body does, but my left knee apparently just “looks wrong” :-/ The right knee I’m not sure about as it’s pretty banged up from me falling over the week before, so that may have obscured stuff or it may not be as bad as the left one.
I have admittedly been putting off seeing my doctor because as many hypermobile people know, there isn’t that much that can be done about this condition. Doctor’s don’t know what to do with chronic illnesses, and physios can’t solve every problem at once. I wasn’t hugely happy with the assessment I had for physio which involved a whole lot of talking and no actual assessment of the physical problems. I would have expected them to at least LOOK at the problem area. Plus as soon as I mentioned ‘weight gain’ it seemed as though everything else I said lost legitimacy. It’s at least a 4-week wait on the waiting list, so hoping that with my new diet and exercise that I can start to shift the weight before the actual physio begins.
My new diet – I hate diets. I feel that there is too much social pressure to be a certain weight and by saying you’re dieting you are enabling it. As highlighted by the physio’s tactless ‘well that won’t help’ comment, my weight needs to lower considerably. Not just for my HMS but to stop other health problems from arising. Plus I am not comfortable in my current form. This diet is unlike any I’ve had before, it’s very strict which I usually avoid as they are very salad and fruit-heavy. I can’t eat either, however, the one we’ve put together for me is easily tailored to me, helps prevent cravings and got the thumbs up from my doctor. It’s called a low-GI (glycemic index) diet and if you google it, you’ll find more information. It aims to work with your body’s natural processes by maintaining your blood sugar levels so that food energy is released slowly. I’ve only been on it a week, but the cravings seem to have gone down and I’ve already vetoed some foods that I just cannot stomach. Namely cottage cheese (looks like vomit) and skimmed milk (looks and tastes like pee). The hardest part has been the lack of coffee and I’ve tried some stuff which I was surprised to find very yummy.
It has been hard starting a diet while concentrating on my resit, but I think it has also helped though. It’s helped me remain positive, by sticking to the diet I’ve been able to feel like I’m succeeding at something difficult and I’ve funnelled that into my academic work. I handed in the resit essay yesterday and I actually feel pretty confident about it. I put everything into that essay and if I don’t get a good mark then I don’t deserve to be studying honours. I also went to an exam workshop yesterday which was very very helpful and explained a lot about what I did wrong last time. I basically regurgitated every fact, scared of all the big fancy names and techniques and thinking that I needed to prove what I knew. I do a bit, however, the markers are looking for our own ingenuity and viewpoint. What we notice and can put together. We went through a lot of questions and themes as well so that helped me to understand the last exam better.
The exam is next week and then that’s it. I’ve either done it or I’ve not. It’s a scary prospect and also a bit relief as I’ll have my summer back again. I can’t think of anything else right now except this resit and I feel guilty if I spend my time doing something else worthwhile. So I’ve primarily been watching tv, reading and playing little games on Facebook during my study breaks.
Image Credits: Photo is from Pexels.